Graham Greene

"Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose, or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation."

— Graham Greene

British Novelist

1904 - 1991

Have you ever thought of your writing or your painting as a form of therapy, as a way to help you through the challenges you face in life with at least a part of your sanity?  This goes to the heart of who do we create for?  Ourselves or others?  I think the answer for the most part is ourselves.  If we write what others want us to write or paint what others want us to paint, I think we hurt ourselves more than help ourselves.  We all have demons in our lives that we must work through.  For some it is their childhood.  For others it is the death of someone they loved dearly.  For others it is the spiritual doubts they have.  Creating works of art helps us cope with the pain that is at the heart of our lives.  It helps us face the fears that try to force us into hiding.  It helps us to keep the madness at bay for a little while.

Carl Rogers

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

— Carl Rogers

American Author / Psychologist

1902 - 1987

Have you ever had a desire to change who you are?  Have you ever dreamed of waking up and being somebody different?  That is one of the fun things about being a novelist or an actor.  Novelists and short story writers can become the characters inside the stories they tell.  I once wrote a short story, Bath Day, in which I inserted my real self as a minor, minor character seen through the eyes of the main character.  Actors take on the character of others.  They play heroes and villains.  They experience death, love, sorrow and laughter in the skin of imaginary characters.

Most of us have struggled with our self-identity.  We may not like our physical looks or the bill-paying work that we do.  We may think that we are poor husbands, wives or parents.  And yet, if we learn to accept who we are and what we have done, then we can begin to change into who we want to be.

Have you ever tried to change your habits?  Stop smoking?  Lose weight?  Start exercising?  Learn another language?  Leave the toilet seat down?  Some people say it takes 21 days to form a new habit.  Personal change is never easy.  We need to learn to be more forgiving of ourselves and those with whom we share our lives.  None of us are perfect.  And if change is difficult for us, don't you think it is just as difficult for those you love.  Learn to be gentle with yourself and those you love.

Alfred Stieglitz

"All art, like all love, is rooted in heartache."

— Alfred Stieglitz

American Photographer

1864 - 1946

Photograph of
Georgia O'Keeffe

Pain, suffering and loneliness draw out the artist in each of us.  When we are suffering, we have a need to share our hurt with others.  Some of the world's greatest works of art and literature have grown out of the pain the artists and writers felt as children.  What pain drives your need to express your feelings?  Or maybe, like me, you don't know.  I had a good childhood with loving parents.  There is no moment or experience in my life that caused me to want to write.  I just have a need to express myself.  I sometimes wonder if one of the reasons I have not written world-famous poetry is I have not suffered enough.  

Do you know why you have a need to write stories or poetry?  Do you know why you are driven to find those few minutes or hours a day to paint and draw?  Why do you need to share part of yourself with the world?

I believe our art is a way of healing the hurt we have felt.  Writing, painting, and playing music help us to subconsciously work through the pain we have experienced in our lives.  Our art gives us hope.

Leo Buscaglia

"Nine times out of ten, when you extend your arms to someone, they will step in, because basically they need precisely what you need."

— Leo Buscaglia

American Author/Motivational Speaker

1924 - 1998

For the last twenty plus years, I have been teaching people the healing power of touching and hugging.  While I have encountered people who don't like to hug, I have found a deep desire on the part of most people for the healing that a strong hug will bring.  Here in the United States, hugging is not encouraged except in some churches.  Hugging is avoided in the world of business and education.  Some people view it as sexual harassment.  One of few places where people still are allowed to hug is at funerals.  We instinctively know that words are not enough.  What we want to say can only be said with a hug.

As writers and artists, we often work in isolation and yet we have this desire and need for human touch.  We should surround ourselves with supportive friends with whom we can cry  and who will give us a hug when we need it the most.  Healthy friendships are a necessary part of the creative process.

There is a true story that circulates on the internet of two baby twins who were born premature.  The hospital personnel put the babies in separate incubators per their policy and procedures.  One baby was healthy and thriving.  The other grew weaker.  A nurse decided to put the babies in the same incubator and a surprising thing happened.  The stronger baby put her arm around the weaker one and the weaker baby grew stronger and healthier.

As creative leaders, we need to take care of our own emotional and mental heath so we have the strength to create more works of art.  Be sure to give your friends and family a hug each and every day.

Milan Kundera

"Laughing deeply is living deeply."

— Milan Kundera

Czech Novelist/Poet

1929 -

Have you laughed today?  Have you had a deep belly laugh that shook your insides?  We all need some humor in our lives.  Laughter helps to heal the pain.  The life of an artist or writer can be difficult and challenging.  Laughter helps us to survive the barbs of criticism and the arrows of rejection.  Do you know what makes you laugh?  Do you know what makes others laugh.  Seek to put some laughter into your life.  Give the gift of laughter.

Zelda Fitzgerald

"Nobody has ever measured, even the poets, how much a heart can hold."

— Zelda Fitzgerald

American Novelist, Artist

1900 - 1948

The heart is stronger than we think and able to recover from some of the most painful sorrows.  People through the centuries have seen and heard some of the ugliest behavior of mankind from starvation to murder to genocide.  And writers and artists have produced great work out of this pain.  When I was in college in the midst of the Vietnam war and the civil rights movement, I thought the world would explode within five years.  More the forty years later the earth still circles the sun and men and women continue to suffer and survive.  How much can your heart hold?  How much pain have you suffered?  How much love have you given?  How much of your heart can you see in your work?

Mark Vonnegut

"Writing was a spiritual exercise for my father, the only thing he really believed in."

— Mark Vonnegut

American Writer

1947 -

Writing for me is a spiritual exercise.  I did not realize until I read an essay a year ago in which Mark Vonnegut talks about his father, Kurt, one of my favorite authors.  The quote opened for me the door into why I have spent 35 years writing without fame or fortune.  Since I rejected organized religion at age 18, writing became the spiritual road I walked.  Writing gave my soul the strength necessary to face the traumas of this world.  I was called to be a preacher but I could not preach until I first cleansed my soul and made it strong through writing.  The writing is what makes me whole, gives meaning to my life, and keeps me believing even when I feel there is nothing left to live for.  Here is a short poem I wrote a year ago today.

May your heart

be fluent

in the languages

spoken by God

that you

may understand

the healing power of His love.

Isak Dinesen

"All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them."

— Isak Dinesen

Danish Writer

1885 - 1962

In the last 20 years, the publishing world has sought to give us more and more memoirs —   people sharing their own stories of their sorrow and pain.  They have taken Dinesen's quote to heart.  And there is a lot of truth here.  We all tell our personal story — if not to others, at least to ourselves.  When my wife and I wrote our book on pet loss, we gave voice to the pain that these pet lovers felt.  We allowed them to tell their stories.  What is your story?  What sorrows darken your face?  Have you put it in words?  In pictures?  In music?  Healing comes with the sharing of our stories.

Rainer Maria Rilke

"This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more they possess."

— Rainer Maria Rilke

Austrian Poet

1875 - 1926

The creative journey is about love.  We must be passionate about what we do.  If you don't love painting or writing or playing music, you won't do the work necessary to overcome the obstacles you face.  Painting a picture, writing a novel or composing music requires a lot of solitary time.  You have to love what you do and want to do it more than anything else in the world.  The more you give to your art, the more you will receive in return.

Helen Keller

"Your success and happiness lie in you.  Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invisible host against difficulties."

— Helen Keller

1880 - 1968

We are responsible for our own happiness and success.  Others are not responsible to make us happy.  Not our spouses.  Not our children.  Not our parents.  Life is full of challenges and difficulties.  Nothing is perfect.  If we blame others, we will never be happy.  We must learn to forgive and move on.  We must take charge of our inner world and resolve to be satisfied and happy.

Mort Walker

"Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of the heart."

— Mort Walker

1923-

Sometimes the heart grows stale and tired with the routines of life and needs a good spring cleaning.  Laughter is a powerful cleanser that helps to heal the pain we feel and revive our hopes that have been buried under layers of dust.  A deep belly laugh is like a breath of spring air on a winter's day.  Find those special moments of laughter and enjoy them.